Big Tiny Steps

(At 0% of my original prescribed dosage)

So here I am, exactly 1 week into my complete freedom from Adderall(!!), and honestly, I feel relatively great.

Buh-Bye “Big A”…

To make things official, here is my unceremonious ceremony signifying a new level of freedom in my life, and perhaps a bit of inspiration for anyone stumbling across my musings here.

Lessons I’ve Learned From Quitting Adderall

1. Weaning was absolutely 200% the right way to go. In fact, I can’t really think of one thing I would have gained from an absolutely miserable and potentially dangerous two or so weeks followed by weeks of moderate crappiness and a much higher risk of relapse.
2. When going the weaning route, exhaustion has been the most prevalent symptom.I experienced no headaches, depression, nausea, or any of the other withdrawal symptoms I’ve read about online (including at least one person saying that they quit two years ago and still feel that their dopamine levels have yet to return).
3. Nootropics are your friend. I really do have to give props to Bright Mind, the “Drinkable ADHD Supplement” which I took regularly starting about 10 days into my weaning process. I’ve always thought that most natural supplements were at best dependent on a placebo effect, or at worst, absolutely worthless and possibly dangerous. But Bright Mind really did give me additional energy, a boost in my mood, and some mental clarity that I noticed in the form of having an easier time speaking and making sense during morning meetings. And no, I am not selling it as an affliate (despite the opportunities for affliate riches given my massive website traffic of about 1.5 visits every 5 days).
   
   The only complaint I have with Bright Mind is that you’re supposed to take a day off of it every 5 days, which is a bummer because if you’re using it to replace a morning ritual like Adderall or coffee, then it’s a bit of a bummer to have to start your day without that ritual.
   
   However, given that I possess the ever-resourceful “Addict Brain”, I found a way to get my fix in the form of a different nootropic that I could get right away, at Walmart, for a decent price and it seemed to work quite well judging by how I am doing today – the first day I’ve tried it. The supplement is called “Dose” by Mindhoney (this IS an affiliate link, which I only realized after I found this on Amazon, where I happen to already have an affiliate accont).
4. Use your challenges as an excuse to show yourself next-level kindness. Getting off of any mentally and/or physically addicting drug can be a major undertaking. And so it makes for a great opportunity to practice one of the hardest things we have eto do as human beings….be kind and loving to ourselves. That means, nap as much as you need, feel free to slack off on non-essential tasks from your daily “to-do” list, don’t worry about making any big social or recreational plans, don’t worry about working on any other challenging personal development goals,, etc
   
   If you’re a parent or caregiver, don’t be shy about asking for what you need to help you through this time. I have had to get used to asking my wife on a near-daily basis, “I’m having a tough time keeping my eyes open, you mind watching the kids while I take a 15 minute nap, and then I can hold down the fort while you go do the same afterwards?”
   
   Basically, advocate for yourself, and “parent” yourself the same way a loving mother would parent you.
5. Constantly refresh your “luster” for life. Let’s start with the definition of the word “lustre” is, “the quality of shining by reflecting light”.
   
   Since it’s about a week since I’ve gotten of of Adderall, there is this fresh sense of excitement and pride around my newfound freedom that gives my life this new “shiny” quality to it. However, I know that over time, being Adderall-free will be the new normal, and that the “new car smell” will fade away.
   
   Since this luster is such a nice feeling to carry around as I move through my day, the question arises, why can’t I always carry this feeling around with me? In other words, why not incorporate new endeavors like the one I just completed into my life as a regular fixture, even if I am doing so on “tiny” step at a time?
   
   Why not look at some other area of my life where I feel constricted or unsatisfied, and embark on a new journey to moving out of that limitation and into yet another level of personal freedom and congruence with my purpose and my values? Perhaps that will be trimming down on my consumption of sweets, or getting out of debt, getting off of the 1 remaining psyche med I am currently on, to name just a few ideas.
6. Keeping a public journal is a major motivator. This is especially true for me because I find writing to be the most authentic means of verbal expression for me. I am also a big believer in the principle of “the best way to learn is to teach”, and I’ve used a public WordPress.com blog to teach myself multiple tech skills by writing a “how-to” articles on whichever skill I was looking to learn.
   
   Keeping a blog is also great for accountability. Even though I am not publicizing this website and it’s very possible that less than 10 people will ever read my entries here, the act of posting my updates here has really helped to ensure that I stayed on track with my goal, as I’ve tried to embody the same attitude as someone whose articles are being read by thousands.
   
   At the same time, I have made this journal a raw accounting of my experiences, both inner and outer, so there is little regard for things like perfect grammar or prose.
   
   The main thing is that I was propelled forward in part by an aversion to the prospect of having to disappoint my readers (which I know there have been a few – THANKS for those of you who’ve visited here) by either stopping the updates before arriving at my goal, or having to write up a blog post saying, “hey, so I am back on Adderall again…”, thereby leaving yet another bit of the online discouragement that’s so readily available on the internet.

Next Steps

For the 5 or so of you who have been to this site before, you’ll notice that the site was called “Escaping Adderall”, but given the aforementioned success of keeping up an online journal, I decided to take the plunge of making the site not specific to quitting Adderall.

I now plan on using this site to journal and serve as motiviation fo myself and others when it comes to future journey’s towards new freedom in my life. Not exactly sure what the next one will be. Leaning a bit towards tackling my addiction to sweets, but there is also my desire to complete my exit from psyche meds by getting off of Lamictal. I don’t know if that would require a daily journal as the dependence on that drug seems a bit less all-encompassing, but that would remain to be seen.

Conclusion

I’m sure more lessons from this experience will make themselves known, and perhaps I’ll share those in the form of future articles.

But for now, I am going to enjoy the post-Adderal luster, and continue looking ahead to the next adventure. So if you’re reading this and have found yourself entertained or inspired, please stay tunes, and feel free to leave a comment and share your own experiences. :)