Big Tiny Steps

(At ~37.5% of full dosage, and 24 days after starting the Bright Mind natural Adderall alternative, but skipping today to prevent building a tolerance to it)

Yesteday my mood wasn’t as steady as the day before, but still some happy moments, so triumphs, so good stuff.

In terms of my journey, since yesterday and definitely upon waking today, I have experienced this minor sense of dread of fear because I am due for a day where I skip taking my Bright Mind drink.

Although this is all natural and doesn’t get you “high” per se, it’s still a substance that provides me with some energy, acuity, and a mood uplift pretty quickly, potentially fending off withdrawal symptoms (which I’ve thankfully avoided thus far aside from some possible “Freedom Exhaustion”).

So I see that there is still that “Addict Mind”, where I have this fear of being without my fix, but it’s really just an infringment on my freedom. And freedom is what this whole journey is all about.

And becuase I am getting so much benefit out of preceding the names of all potential negative side effects of this process with the word “Freedom” (ie: “Freedom Headache”, “Freedome Exhaustion”, “Freedom Depression”, etc), then I am similary finding strength in labeling my (dissipating) fear of having no Bright Mind this morning as “Freedom Fear”.

I’ve been up for about an hour this morning, and am feeling fine, and am resolved to get through the day without this support from Bright Mind – which I’ve been taking a second dose of in the afternoons as of late, and that’s been really helpful.

But today, no. I will use my other “batteries” including the joy of music, being present for my boys, being authentic, and giving myself permission to TAKE NAPS AND BE LAZY.

So today I celebrate my freedom from the addict mind, and even celebrate any possible discomfort I experience in the form of minor withdrawal symptoms (which I highly doubt I’ll have aside from some “Freedom Exhaustion” or “Freedom Blues” at worst).

Today I practice the art of skipping a day of my “fix”, even if it’s not a real drug-type fix. It’s a figment of my imagination that I need Bright Mind or else I will have a shitty day.

So far, my morning is going pretty well. Yes, I am tired, but I’ve felt that way even with the Bright Mind.

But in addition to be tired, and much more importantly, I am picking up more freedom, even if to others it might seem ridiculous and overdramatic.

There is indeed such a thing as “better living through chemistry”, and today I get the freedom of that better living without its shackles, so viva la freedom! :D