Big Tiny Steps

The Plot Thickens….

This past Thursday evening began back pain at a level I’ve never experienced before. It’s been pretty debilitating in that just moving around the house and doing my regular duties as a caregiver for my son has become almost like torture.

What I should be doing is getting rest, but instead, I still have my obligations to be on my feet, bending and lifting and cleaning.

I am certain that this was the Universe tossing a large stone at me before the “boulder” due to the fact that I was stating to plan this beautiful mini-vacation with my dad and my older son, just so the older one could get a chance to play in water at the beach, and mainly perhaps for me, to get some of the sanity that comes with being outside of the home, and acting in a way that draws in the energy of the freedom I am so missing from my life.

After starting to make the plans, the plan was shot down by someone close to me, which made me feel like a kid being told that Christmas is cancelled. I was so sad, and now this pain comes in, perhaps for me selling myself out.

Or, perhaps it’s come to prevent me from taking the trip, because there is no way I could make the 4+ hour long drive to go on a trip where there would be excessive walking and physical exertion.

Another perspective would be good. Also, tiny steps. I need to get into the doctor to get this steroid shot that would put me back on track.

Anyhow…moving on…

Is Journaling Even Necessary?

So my plan was to create a blog post each day listing every instance where I was tempted with sweets along with:

• the thoughts and feelings I was experiencing at the time of the craving
• whether or not I ate the sweet food
• how did I feel after making my decision.

But you know what’s been happening?

Just the knowing that I would have to journal the thoughts and feelings leading up to the craving seems to be sufficient in staving off the cravings altogether.

I have indeed had some cravings, but in been “listening” to my thoughts and feelings leading up to eating the sweets, the craving dissolves.

So now I am not sure if I am even going to need to make this a marjor section of the website, or whether or not any action will need to be taken.

I’ve been able to follow the guidelines set forth in my previous post, which allowed for sweets in a celebratory event WITH OTHER PEOPLE PRESENT, so I did endulge in a cupcake. But there was no temptation to go beyond that.

So I’ll probably ride this out for a few days and see where not jounaling takes me, because at this rate, I may have “hit my rock bottom” with the 20 extra pounds and clothes fitting tighter, and thus, I am surrendering to the point where discipline is no longer a necessity.

Stay tuned….