Big Tiny Steps

(At 12.5% of full dosage)

Wow, I can’t believe the day has already come. It’s a bit scary. Not too scary, but a little bit scary.

What’s going to happen tomorrow when I wake up and skip my old best frenemy?

I tihnk it’s going to be glorious actually.

A new level of freedom. The attaiment of a goal that I didn’t think I could have, since my life is so topsy-turvey that honestly, now is one of the worst possible times I could have chosen to quit, yet I had to.

Listening to the “Tap on the Shoulder “Before It Becomes a “Sledgehammer to the Head”

This also represents a change in behavior, from my all-too-often experience of waiting for life to force my hand vis a vis some calamitous event. In this case, that event, which I believe was headed my way, was forced cold-turkey, as we head into the chaotic period in this country that’s likely to only get more chaotic.

With this most recent election, the United States has made it clear that we’re opting for the sledgehammer right now. We had the option of learning this lesson, with a candidate who, despite being human and imperfect, was so clearly superior, and would have so clearly led this country with dignity and put this spirit of fear and selfishness to bed.

But alas, collectively, this country still needs this mirror who goes by the name of Donald J. Trump. And that is quite sad.

Not sure how this veered into politics, just going off of a stream of consciousness. I beleive it’s my frustration coming through this morning, perhaps it’s “Freedom Irritability “.

Which is, again, a small price to pay for my freedom.

But I guess my point is, there is always the option to learn the lesson that life is trying to teach you NOW instead of waiting until something really, really hard presents itself as a means of forcing you to the next step.

And so with that, I will continue to make it a point to “raise the bottom”, or decrease the depth of the rock bottom I need to hit in order to change.

Who says that I need to learn through pain?

I know there is a way of living where I can be guiding throughout my day by those gentle loving whispers and taps on the shoulder, so that things never get to the point of having to be pelted with large “stones” before being run over by a boulder.

So today marks the beginning of a recommitment to an easier way of learning, as I exited this self-imposed prison of Adderall addiction before the shit hit the fan, while my psychiatrist was still happily refilling my prescription, voicing no concen about my usage.

So my question going forward is, what subtle nudge am I getting right now? What opportunity am I being presented with in order to practice the art of gentle learning?

Life is always sending a message, so my intention today, and hopefully every day, but one day at a time, is to LISTEN. LISTEN. LISTEN.

Looking forward to tomorrow’s update on Day 1 of my newfound freedom!