Big Tiny Steps

(At 25% of full dosage, and 32 days after starting the Bright Mind natural Adderall alternative)

Had my cherished morning quiet time interrupted by an emergency call from work regarding an issue that has nothing to do with anything that I can assist with, and I’ve been told to ignore these alerts in the past. But yet, the phone wouldn’t start ringing, so I finally responded and this troubleshooting call is happening in the background, so I will try my best to focus on what I am writing here, since I really don’t like missing a day writing into this journal.

Adderall-wise, things are OK. Still a lot of “Freedom Exhaustion”, but doing OK, and not even sure if my exhaustion has to do more with lack of sleep that is only exacerbated by the Adderall weaning.

At any rate, all is good, still no other symptoms, and actually fewer Adderall related heaches or depression than I had while I was at my prescribed full dosage.

Retaining My Self-Respect

So I set my family member straight as to why I was asking for their help, and they seem to have backed off and started reversing course with the criticism, and even sent back some of the money I sent them.

I am not sure whether I should once again send them back their money, which, truth be told, we could really use. And if they’ve seen the error of their ways, which it seems they have, then perhaps keeping the money does not mean I am not abandoing my values out of a sense of scarcity.

Right now, I am leaning towards keeping this money with the caveat that it is crystal clear to them why it is that I asked for money, and that it is not because I impulsively bought a sports car or a first class ticket on Singapore Airlines.

At the same time, I need to realize that this family member is no longer a viable source when it comes to heading off financial disaster. I have started thinking about new ways to bring in income, but the challenge is that I am tired and uninspired, which is not the best recipe for starting a business.

Generally speaking, a successful business requires some passion for meeting a need. But my thinking is to just take a step forward, any step, and trust that the Universe will give me the “yay” or “nay” as to whether or not this is the right direction.