Big Tiny Steps

(At ~63% of full dosage, and 10 days after starting the Bright Mind natural Adderall alternative)

I regret that I missed posting here yesterday, I really do enjoy and look forward to updating this blog. I think it’s neat when people create a blog and actually stick with it.

I mean, it’s a little different here because this blog is designed to exist for just this short season in my life when I am getting off of Adderall, so my intention is that in a couple of months this blog will also cease growing unless I have some epiphany and decide to create this new chapter of my life around supporting others in their efforts to quit Adderall (EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND YOU SHOULD CONSULT A DOCTOR OR MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL BEFORE MAKING ANY DECISIONS RELATED TO THE TOPICS COVERED IN THIS WEBSITE, AND THIS THIS IS JUST FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES, ETC ETC ETC….).

But it will be cool to look back, once Adderall is in the rear view mirror and see that at the very least, that the entire jorney has been documented and served its purpose of keeping me accountable and possibly helping at least one other person get off of this stuff (with the beautiful ripple effect that recovery has on so many people around the addict, possibly generations-worth of people).

As for my weaning process, it is going well despite life being quite, let’s just be honest – VERY difficult. I won’t lie, life has been like a pressure cooker and cruel tyrant. I know it won’t always be this way, but man, I am going through it.

And like I’ve said many times, my current circumstances, “on paper” would make for this season of my life as being the worst possible time to try to add quitting a mentally and physically addictive drug onto my plate.

But if anything, this process is helping me through. More so than my other challenges, I have control over this process. Of course, ultimately what’s going on is a surrender that I’ve been willing to entertain and energize, and which I believe is powered by some sort of spiritual or power greater than my own willpower or white-knuckle discipline.

But because I am “riding the wave of willingness”, I am able to effect this incredible change and movement towards my freedom, so that when the days get rough, I can think about how far I’ve come in just under 3 weeks, and even if my other challenging circumstances are not changing, here is one of my very biggest challenges that’s starting to actually disappear.

So as for the whole terror around withdrawals, I have yet to experience anything that I can say is without a doubt a withdrawal symptom. I’ve been experiencing some exhaustion, but again, it’s still hard to say if it’s any different than the typical day-to-day exhaustion I’ve been experiencing for a while now, before this whole weaning process.

I would think that if withdrawals were going to set in, then they would have at least started to rear their ugly heads by now, maybe cracking the door open and peering in with a flashlight, asking, “Anyone here? We’re coming in now….”