Big Tiny Steps

Although I have yet to experience any real withdrawal symptoms, I am experiencing, or at least becoming more aware of my actual ADD symptoms, particularly in the evenings.

I’ve found myself struggling with my second most serious addiction right now, which is the addiction to staying up late.

In general, the way I am spending my hours after about 7pm each night involves doing some chores around the house in a very unfocused manner accompanied by a good amount of social media scrolling and snacking.

This morning, I find myself very tired, but this is actually nothing new. Since even with Adderall, if I go a few nights in a row sleeping 5 hours or less, this is going to be the result.

I started the morning feeling a bit depressed and was thinking ok, here come the “freedom blues” I was anticipating. But after spending some time doing my “automatic writing“, which is a process whereby I reach out to Spiritual Guidance, and just type out the first things that come to mind, I feel uplifted and happy.

Things are good, I see, and I am ready to move forward with this new life, and this new identity of a man who lives in a state of syncronicity and “high energy outcomes” instead of the scarcity, stress, and heartbreak that has been my home, and I would daresay, comfort zone over the course of my life, and in particular the past decade.

So there you have it, so far, so good.

Onwards!